


Caffeine-Laden Piss

by captorashi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Desperation, M/M, Mountain Dew, Omorashi, Wetting, i almost wish i was sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:06:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captorashi/pseuds/captorashi
Summary: Dave introduces Sollux to the sin that is mountain dew. Shenanigans ensue.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the free day of Sollux week, which, fun fact, coincides with my birthday. As prime piss sollux, I was absolutely floored when I discovered this amazing coincidence.
> 
> Based on [these](http://xagave.tumblr.com/post/147213881660/oh-its-absolutely-omo-time-now-a-waterfall-of) [asks,](http://xagave.tumblr.com/post/147198409145/mountain-dew-discourse-scenario-sollux-actually) because I thought I might actually flesh out my own scenario as a present to myself. You're goddamn welcome, you filthy sinners.

Slowly gaining consciousness, the only thing on your mind is that you’re way too tired to have gotten a full night’s sleep. You check your mobile grub device to see what time it is.

1 PM.

Okay, yeah, this is way too goddamn early for your vampiric ass. Whatever. You’re used to this kind of stuff happening to your sleep cycle, so you just shift around under your blanket and close your eyes. However, a knock on the door shows that life has different plans. _What the fuck does anyone want from me at this fucking hour._

You walk to the door and it’s... Dave? You barely see him at all, so whatever he’s here for has gotta be good.

“You know, I can’t believe you’ve never had _mountain fucking dew,”_ he greets, letting himself in your hive. “Especially since you spend literally your entire day at a computer. Like, you’d think you’d fucking overdose on the sugar and caffeine from the energy drinks, but apparently you haven’t had a drop of dew in your entire life.”

Remind yourself again why you never hang out with this guy, because he’s fucking amazing.

“Well, good fucking morning to you, too,” you snip. “Oh, by the way, I doubt mountain dew’s an energy drink as much as it is a fucking death potion.”

“And the rest of the shit you drink... isn’t?”

“Oh, they _are,_ but those are _supposed_ to be death potions. Dew, on the other hand...” You fake gag for emphasis.

“Let’s just cut to the chase here. You haven’t had mountain dew, that’s a disgrace to your status as a computer geek, I have some dew for you to try...” he grabs a party-sized bottle out of his sylladex, “and you’re gonna have some of this shit.”

You’d been following him and his words to the meal block, where he grabs a solo cup with ice to pour you the unholy nectar. After letting the fizz dissipate, you take a sip, and...

“Oh my god.”

You can’t even describe it; it’s just so addicting. Your rational side knows that’s exactly how the manufacturers designed it to be, but some primal part of you rejects this logic. You need this constant flow of the sugary, bubbly, vaguely citrus-like substance over your tongue for the rest of your life.

“Well, do you like it? Are you gonna _do the dew?”_ Dave teases.

You respond by downing the cup, letting out a huge belch afterwards.

“Oh my god. You’re already becoming a stereotypical gamer bro,” Dave remarks.

He starts to laugh. “This is better than I could have ever imagined, holy shit. Thank you for being so fucking amazing.”

“All I did was like a brand of soda,” you reply. “I don’t know if that counts as being amazing.”

“That’s because you just don’t understand the magnitude of this particular soda, dude,” he says. He looks at you like he has something else on his mind - something he’s keeping from you - and he shakes his head so slightly you barely notice. “So you want me to leave this here, right?” he asks, gesturing to the bottle.

“What the fuck kind of computer nerd would I be if I said no?”

 _“That’s_ the fucking spirit, man.”

He pauses. “Well, that’s about the only thing I wanted to do here. You already seem like a fully-fledged dew addict, ready to take on the world and Dew Guzzlers Anonymous meetings, so I think my job is done.” With that, he flashsteps out of your hive, leaving you alone with almost two full liters of your newly appreciated dew for who knows _how_ goddamn long.

This is the best day of your life.

Well, not exactly. A few hours later, it’s really just been more or less your average day of coding and trolling shenanigans. The only real difference is that you now have an almost-empty bottle of mountain dew sitting next to all your stuff.

Wait, _almost empty?_

Jesus fuck, you have a goddamn problem. Maybe you’ll end up going to those “DGA” meetings after all, eheheh...

_Oh._

You suddenly feel a _desperately_ urgent situation in your lower abdomen.

Well, _speaking of problems,_ all that soda you drank just caught up to your bladder. At once. With your legs pressed together, you wonder how the fuck you didn’t notice this sooner, holy _shit_ you have to pee. You’re about to get up to use the gaper when Dave shows up again and lets himself fall on the couch next to you.

“I decided I’d come back so we could hang out a little _._ Let’s have a little one-on-one, pure, unadulterated bro time. Just you and me, dawg. Just chilling together as bros.”

He looks at the bottle he gave you earlier. “Jesus christ, dude, had enough?”

“Dave, as good as chilling sounds right now, I have to-”

“You don’t have to do anything except just hang out with your buddy,” Dave interrupts, a little too sharply in your opinion.

You’re about to argue further when a pang of desperation forces you to cross your legs and hold back a moan.

_Fuck._

You’d forgotten how exciting it is to desperately hold on like this, to feel your own control break down as you struggle to keep the flood inside you.

You abruptly decide to let Dave do whatever he has planned for you.

It’s not like you’ve repeatedly fantasized about someone making you hold your piss until you wet yourself or anything. It’s not like you’re struggling to bury all thoughts of Dave doing that to you _right fucking now_ so your bulges don’t start a scene in your pants for him to ogle at.

“Good. I’m glad you’re not too busy to spend some time with your best homie, the one and only David Elizabeth Strider.”

It’s not like you’ve just shot yourself in the foot with a motherfucking machine gun.

“And what exactly does ‘spending some time’ entail?”

“I dunno, I thought we could just be pieces of shit and play video games all day,” he says, smirking at his own reference.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Nice.”

“Before you pick out a game, though, what I was trying to say before is that I _really_ need to take a goddamn piss,” you explain, a surge of need pulling your hands to your crotch like a magnet for emphasis.

Dave glances at you and then the bottle sitting on your desk. “Okay. I just wanna know something, though.”

“You don’t have much fucking time,” you say, panting, “but sure, go ahead.”

“How fucking bad is it?”

Your heart jolts.

_“What?”_

“I mean with how much of that bottle is gone? How have you not already pissed yourself? I mean, I’m assuming you haven’t gone at all today because you’re, well, _you,_ so I’ll ask again: how close are you to creating a replica of the Gulf of Mexico in your chair?”

A small leak of piss makes its way out of your nook because of the mental image. You tell him you’ve started leaking, and that there’s gonna be a full-on fucking flood if he doesn’t shut the hell up and let you pee.

 _“Shit,”_ Dave whispers suddenly.

Okay. Something’s _definitely_ up. You know from experience that you don’t just get that kind of reaction from someone who isn’t turned on by this stuff. You turn your head to look at him, and he’s staring at the floor, blushing slightly, his hands over his crotch. With the both of you being recent Certified Hormonal Teenagers™, there’s only one thing that can mean.

“Dave,” you call out. His head snaps up. “Since you were so curious about my pissing endeavors, let me kindly return your favor.”

“I thought you were gonna flood your pants if we didn’t hurry the fuck up, but alright.”

“Just one question. Do you have a goddamn omo kink?”

He visibly flinches in his seat.

“Okay. Two things.”

He breathes. “First, I’m not really surprised that you know what that is, or even at the thought of you being into it, but _damn_ dude, just laying that out on the table like that? That takes some serious balls.”

He closes his eyes, and he breathes again. “Alright. Second thing, since you already goddamn knew the answer to your question would be yes.” You listen attentively, as best as you can while concentrating for dear life on not pissing your pants or going into a trance from your arousal.

“A good part of the reason I introduced you to mountain dew today is because I know firsthand how much that stuff makes you have to pee, and I know you never fucking take a piss break when you get caught up in your coding and crap. I knew you’d have to pee like a racehorse, and that’s why I showed up again. There. Call me fucking disgusting.”

“So that’s why you acted kind of weird earlier with the hanging out,” you realize.

He turns his head away. “...Yeah.”

“And I thought I should mention this, just so we’re clear on all fronts,” you begin. “I’m fucking into it too. Half the goddamn adrenaline coursing through my body right now is from being turned the fuck on by this,” you confess. It’s been getting harder to talk by the minute, small spurts and leaks becoming more frequent. Much to your excitement, of course.

“Do you still want to use the bathroom?”

“Dude, I don’t think I’d even _make_ it at this point.”

 _“...Fuck,_ that’s fucking _hot.”_ He slips a hand into his pants, tilting his head back as he lets out a choked, breathy moan.

Well. Your chronically half-sheathed bulges are now fully out, twisting against each other beautifully as you continue to lose control of your bladder. You can’t help the noises that come out of your mouth as that sensation is added to everything else down there.

You also can’t help the waterfall of piss that has now started pouring into your pants, your body giving up on this intense fight once and for all.

“ _Dave!”_ you cry out. “Fuck _,_ I can’t hold it anymore oh god it won’t stop it’s coming out holy sh-” You suddenly find him straddling your lap, kissing and grinding on you fervently as your hot piss spreads across your thighs and the seat of the chair.

“Don’t -” Dave inhales - “don’t fucking stop. _Shit._ Goddammit. That's - you’re - _you’re so fucking hot, Sollux, goddamn.”_

All you can do in response is melt, melt from the warmth and relief of pissing yourself, melt in Dave’s needy embrace, melt as your piss starts to fill up the chair and spatter onto the floor.

You start stroking his dick, and he immediately keens into your touch like his life depends on it. Not wanting to be left out of the action, you unbutton your own jeans with your psionics, letting your bulges finally break free of their confines.

“Holy shit.” He sits, dumbfounded, as your free hand plays with your bulges.

“I knew trolls had a different set of shit, but _damn,_ seeing it like that in front of you is something else.

“To be fair, we usually just have _one_ of these,” you say, giving yourself a long, slow stroke for emphasis, “but I got lucky. Duality and all that.”

“Don’t you guys have a cunt too or something?” Dave asks.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

His hand slides down your pants, making you groan and buck your hips as your nook finally gets some much-needed attention.

“Holy shit, you’re still goddamn _pissing.”_

“Yeah, it’s almost over, though. Besides, you’re not gonna let that _stop_ you, are you?” you taunt. The only response you get is his fingers plunging past your seedflap, jolting one last spurt of piss out of you.

 _“Shit,_ Dave, that’s so fucking good,” you chirp, breathing even heavier than before. With his fingers in your nook and your hand entwined with your bulges, it doesn’t take long for you to spill genetic material all over yours and Dave’s shirts, shuddering and gasping in pure bliss.

Dave follows soon after, collapsing onto you as his human material adds to the mess. You two stay together like this for a while, taking in each others’ presence as you recharge from everything.

Tentatively, Dave stirs, almost as if he’s afraid he’ll break what he has if he moves too fast.

“Sollux.”

“Yes, babe?” you flirt.

Dave hesitates. “How the fuck.” He gulps. “How the fuck did this happen?”

“I honestly don’t fucking know. I’m really just wondering how we didn’t start hanging out with each other sooner,” you admit.

“Do you want to get this shit cleaned up?” he asks.

“Yeah, my pants are really fucking itchy now. Get off me, nerd,” you say, pushing him off you.

“Slut.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
